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On a recent excursion to Darlington, I was admiring the recently renewed facade of Taylors, the famous pie establishment on Skinnergate. I became involved in a conversation with a member of staff on a tab break, explaining that he had recently removed the "lamps from a pigs heed!" I commented upon the splendour of the pannelling, "european oak" the pig killer informed me. I enquired as to the price such a re-appointment must have cost. He stated that it was all possible due the contribution made by one P.Mellor whom had in fact within the last two years purchased upwards of fifteen thousand pie and pasty related products, three hundred and seven since the end of April. I must admit I was staggered. Lets hope he can achieve similar feeds I mean feats with the ball this season.